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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen"

'High man,' says Burke. Flaherty cut th'
king iv spades. Burke, th' robber, cut th' ace iv hearts. He was
reachin' out f'r th' money, whin Flaherty put his hands over it. 'Wud
ye take it?' says he. 'I wud,' says Burke. 'Wud ye rob th' church?'
says Flaherty. 'I wud,' says Burke. 'Thin,' says Flaherty, scoopin' it
in, 'ye're a heretic; an' they'se nawthin' comin' to ye.'
"Burke looked at him, an' he looked at th' comity; an' he says,
'Gintlemen, if iver ye come over in th' Sixth Ward, dhrop in an' see
me,' he says. 'I'll thry an' make it plisint f'r ye,' he says. An' he
wint away.
"Th' story got out, an' th' good man heerd iv it. He was mighty mad
about it; an' th' nex' sermon he preached was on th' evils iv
gamblin', but he asked Flaherty f'r to take up th' colliction."


THE WANDERERS.

"Poor la-ads, poor la-ads," said Mr. Dooley, putting aside his
newspaper and rubbing his glasses. "'Tis a hard lot theirs, thim that
go down into th' sea in ships, as Shakespeare says. Ye niver see a
storm on th' ocean? Iv coorse ye didn't. How cud ye, ye that was born
away fr'm home? But I have, Jawn.


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