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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen"

'Dorney,' says me uncle Mike, f'r he was chairman iv
th' comity, 'Dorney,' he says, 'me an' me associated warriors wants to
know,' he says. 'What d'ye mane?' says Dorney. 'Ye brought us up
here,' says me uncle Mike, 'to fight the British,' he says. 'If ye
think,' he says, 'that we come over,' he says, 'to engage in a six
days' go-as-you-please walkin' match,' he says, 'ye'd betther go an'
have ye'er head looked into,' he says. 'Have ye anny British around
here? Have ye e'er a Sassenach concealed about ye'er clothes?' he
says. 'We can't do annything if they won't stand f'r us,' says Dorney.
'Thin,' says me uncle Mike, 'I wash me hands iv th' whole invasion,'
he says. 'I'll throuble ye f'r me voucher,' he says. 'I'm goin back to
a counthry where they grow men that 'll stand up an' fight back,' he
says; an' he an' his la-ads wint over to Buf-falo, an' was locked up
f'r rivolution.
"Me uncle Mike come home on th' bumpers iv a freight car, which is th'
way most rivolutioners come home, excipt thim that comes home in th'
baggage car in crates. 'Uncle Mike,' says I to him, 'what's war like,
annyhow?' 'Well,' says he, 'in some rayspicts it is like missin' th'
last car,' he says; 'an' in other rayspicts 'tis like gettin' gay in
front iv a polis station,' he says.


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