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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen"

Says she, 'Where's me hoosband?' in a German brogue ye cud cut
with an ax. 'I don't know ye'er husband, ma'am,' says I. 'What's his
name?' She told me, an' I seen she was Casey's wife; 'He's in there,'
I says. 'In back,' I says, 'talking to Doolan, th' prolotoorio.' I
wint back with her, an' there was Casey whalin' away. 'Ar-re ye men or
ar-re ye slaves?' he says to Doolan. 'Julius,' says his wife, 'vat ye
doin' there, ye blackgaard,' she says. 'Comin' ze, or be hivens I'll
break ye'er jaw,' she says. Well, sir, he turned white, an' come over
as meek as a lamb. She grabbed him be th' arm an' led him off, an'
'twas th' last I seen iv him.
"Afther a while Doolan woke up, an' says he, 'Where's me frind?'
'Gone,' says I. 'His wife came in, an' hooked him off.' 'Well,' says
Doolan, ''tis on'y another victhry iv the rulin' classes,' he says."


THE OPTIMIST.

"Aho," said Mr. Dooley, drawing a long, deep breath. "Ah-ho, glory be
to th' saints!"
He was sitting out in front of his liquor shop with Mr. McKenna, their
chairs tilted against the door-posts.


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