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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen"

How it iver got out to O'Grady's pew in th' burryin'
ground, I'll niver tell ye, an' th' Lord knows; but wan evenin' th'
ghost iv O'Grady come back. Flaherty was settin' in th' parlor,
smokin' a seegar, with O'Grady's slippers on his feet, whin th' spook
come in in th' mos' natural way in the wurruld, kickin' th' dog. 'What
ar-re ye doin' here, ye little farryer iv pants?' he says. Mrs.
O'Grady was f'r faintin'; but O'Flaherty he says, says he: 'Be quite,'
he says, 'I'll dale with him.' Thin to th' ghost: 'Have ye paid th'
rint here, ye big ape?' he says. 'What d'ye mane be comin' back, whin
th' landlord ain't heerd fr'm ye f'r a year?' he says. Well, O'Grady's
ghost was that surprised he cud hardly speak. 'Ye ought to have
betther manners thin insultin' th' dead,' he says. 'Ye ought to have
betther manners thin to be lavin' ye'er coffin at this hour iv th'
night, an' breakin' in on dacint people,' says Flaherty. 'What good
does it do to have rayqueem masses f'r th' raypose iv th' like iv
you,' he says, 'that doesn't know his place?' he says. "I'm masther iv
this house,' says th' ghost.


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