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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen"

But let annything happen like this, an' men ye'd
suspect iv goin' round with a cold chisel liftin' name-plates off iv
coffins comes to th' front with their lips full iv comfort an'
kindliness an', what's more to th' point, their hands full iv coin.
"Years ago there used to be a man be th' name iv O'Brien--no relation
iv th' sinitor--lived down be th' dumps. He was well off, an' had quit
wur-rkin' f'r a living. Well, whether he'd been disappointed in love
or just naturally had a kick up to him again th' wurruld I niver knew;
but this here ol' la-ad put in his time from morn till night handin'
out contimpt an' hathred to all mankind. No wan was harder to rent
fr'm. He had some houses near Halsted Sthreet, an' I've see him
servin' five days' notices on his tenants whin' th' weather was that
cold ye cudden't see th' inside iv th' furnace-rooms at th' mill f'r
th' frost on th' window. Of all th' landlords on earth, th' Lord
deliver me fr'm an' Irish wan. Whether 'tis that fr'm niver holdin'
anny land in th' ol' counthry they put too high a fondness on their
places whin they get a lot or two over here, I don't know; but they're
quicker with th' constable thin anny others.


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