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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen"


Thank th' Lord, we've winrows an' winrows iv Shafter's armor plate
between here an' Dubuque."
Mr. Hennessy said good-night. "As me cousin used to say," he remarked,
"we're through with wan hell iv a bad year, an' here goes f'r another
like it."
"Well," said Mr. Dooley, "may th' Lord niver sind us a foolisher wan
than this!"


THE PERFORMANCES OF LIEUTENANT HOBSON.

"If I'd been down to th' Audjitooroom th' other night," said Mr.
Hennessy, "an' had a chunk iv coal fr'm th' sunk 'Merrimac,' I'd iv
handed it to that man Loot Hobson. I wud so. Th' idee iv a hero
standin' up befure thousan's iv men with fam'lies an' bein' assaulted
be ondacint females. It med me blush down to th' soles iv me feet. If
they let this thing go on, be hivins, why do they stop th'
hootchy-kootchy?"
"Ividinces iv affection is always odjious to an Irishman," said Mr.
Dooley, "an' to all reel affectionate people. But me frind Hobson's
not to blame. 'Tis th' way th' good Lord has iv makin' us cow'rds
continted with our lot that he niver med a brave man yet that wasn't
half a fool.


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