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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen"

' 'Hivins, there goes th' las'
car!' 'Pass th' butther, please: I'm far fr'm home.' All iv thim
talkin' away at once, niver carin' f'r no wan, whin all at wanst up
stheps me bold Hogan with a nose on him,--glory be, such a nose! I
niver see th' like on a man or an illyphant.
"Well, sir, Hogan is Cy in th' play; an' th' beak is pa-art iv him.
What does he do? He goes up to Toolan, an' says he: 'Ye don't like me
nose. It's an ilicthric light globe. Blow it out. It's a Swiss cheese.
Cut it off, if ye want to. It's a brick in a hat. Kick it. It's a
balloon. Hang a basket on it, an' we'll have an' ascinsion. It's a
dure-bell knob. Ring it. It's a punchin' bag. Hit it, if ye dahr. F'r
two pins I'd push in th' face iv ye.' An', mind ye, Hinnissy, Toolan
had said not wan wurrud about th' beak,--not wan wurrud. An' ivry wan
in th' house was talkin' about it, an' wondhrin' whin it 'd come off
an' smash somewan's fut. I looked f'r a fight there an' thin. But
Toolan's a poor-spirited thing, an' he wint away. At that up comes
Scanlan; an' says he: 'Look here, young fellow,' he says, 'don't get
gay,' he says, 'don't get gay,' he says.


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