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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen"


"Th' prayers f'r th' occasion, printed on negotyable paper, is
disthributed among th' guests. Th' bride was delayed be th' crowd
outside. Women screamed an' waved their handkerchefs, sthrong men
cheered an' wept; an' 'twas not until th' polis had clubbed tin hardy
pathrites to death that th' lady cud enther th' house where her fate
was to be sealed. But fin'lly she med it; an' th' two happy, happy
childher, whose sunshiny youth riprisinted five thousan' miles iv
thrack, eight goold mines, wan hundherd millyion dollars' worth iv
rollin' stock, an' a majority intherest in th' Chicago stock yards,
was r-ready f'r th' nicissary thransfers that wud establish th'
combination.
"Th' ceremony was brief, but intherestin'. Th' happy father foorced
his way through dimon' stomachers; an' they was tears in his eyes as
he handed th' clargyman, whose name was Murphy,--but he carried
himsilf as well as if he was used to it,--handed him a check f'r tin
millyion dollars. I don't blame him. Divvle th' bit! Me own hear-rt is
har-rd an' me eyes ar-re dhry, but I'd break down if I had to hand
anny wan that much.


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