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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen"

[Th' coort, 'We
know her, she supplies ividence to all Fr-rinch coorts.'] I tol' her
me dhream. She projoosed a pack iv cards. She tur-rned a r-red king
an' a black knave. "Th' Impror Willum an' Cap Dhryfuss," I says, in a
fury. I burst forth. I had Cap Dhryfuss arristed. I dashed to th'
prisident. He was a-receivin' rayfusals f'r a new cabinet. "I have
found th' thraitor," says I. "Hush!" says he. "If th' Impror Willum
hears ye, he'll declare war," he says. I was stupefied. "Oh, my
beloved counthry!" I cried. "Oh, hivin!" I cried. "What shall I do?"
I cried. They was not a minyit to lose. I disbanded th' ar-rmy. I
ordhered th' navy into dhry dock. I had me pitcher took, I wint home
an' hid in th' cellar. F'r wan night Fr-rance was safe.'
"They was hardly a dhry eye in th' house whin th' gin'ral paused. Th'
coort wept. Th' aujience wept. Siv'ral of th' minor journalists was
swept out iv th' room in th' flood. A man shovellin' coal in th'
cellar sint up f'r an umbrella. Th' lawn shook with th' convulsive
sobs iv th' former ministers. Gin'ral Merceer raised his damp face,
an' blew a kiss to a former minister at wan iv th' windows, an'
resumed his tistimony.


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