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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen"

Th' moon was clear in th' sky. I says, "Guns," I says,
"lave us go down to Hogan's, an' I'll buy ye a tub iv obsceenthe." As
we sthrolled through th' bullyvard, I saw a man that looked like a
German dhrivin' a cab. I was overcome with terror. I ran madly home,
followed be Guns. It was a week befure I cud hold a glass iv
obsceenthe without spillin' th' liquor. Shortly afther this, or it
may've been tin years befure, or it may niver have occurred [the
coort, 'Spoken like a Fr-rinchman an' a sojer'], in th' middle iv July
a man tol' me that the divine Sara [wild an' continyous applause,
cries iv 'Sara foriver!'] was about to projooce th' immortal play iv
"Omlet" [cheers] be th' wretched Shakspere [hisses]. Cud annything be
clearer? I will detain th' coort not longer thin a day while I give me
opinyon on this marvellous performance.'
"Cap Dhryfuss was settin' on th' window-sill, whistlin' 'Garry Owen,'
an' makin' faces at th' gallant corryspondint iv th' Daily Wrongs iv
Man. At this point he cried out laughingly: 'I will not conthradict
th' gin'ral.


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