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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen"

'Unaccustomed as I am
to public speakin', I wish to addhress ye a few wurruds on th'
situation iv th' poor in China.'
"'Assassin!' hisses th' coort.
"'Canal!' says Matther Blamange.
"At this moment th' door was burst open; an' an ex-Prisident iv
Fr-rance come boundin' in, an', r-rushin' up th' steps iv th'
thrybune, smacked Gin'ral Merceer in th' eye. Th' gr-reatest rayspict
was shown f'r th' former chief magistrate iv th' raypublic. No wan
shot at him. He was white with rage. 'Th' honor iv Fr-rance is at
stake,' he says. 'Our counthry lies prostrate in th' mud. I must
presarve th' dignity iv me high office; but, if Gin'ral Merceer will
step out into th' back yard, I'll beat his head off. I don't know
annything about this accursed case. It was all referred to me whin I
was Prisident. I am here to see that th' honor iv me high office is
not assailed. I protest I did not say what an anonymous corryspondint
in to-night's Sore says I said. I did me jooty. Whin I saw th' ar-rmy
disorganized an' Fr-rance beset be foreign foes, I raysigned. What was
I to do? Was I to stay in office, an' have me hat smashed in ivry time
I wint out to walk? I tell ye, gintlemen, that office is no signcure.


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