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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley: In the Hearts of His Countrymen"

"
"'Thin 'tis clearly a forgery,' says th' prisident.
"'I wish to ask this witness wan question,' says Gin'ral Merceer. 'Was
it th' Robin shell or th' day befure?'
"'My answer to that,' says th' witness, 'is decidedly, Who?'
"'Thin,' says Gin'ral Merceer, 'all I can say is, this wretch's
tistimony is all a pack iv lies.'
"'Hol' on there!' calls a voice from th' aujience.
"'What d'ye want?' says th' prisident.
"'I'm th' corryspondint iv th' Georgia Daily Lyncher, an' I can't
undherstand a wurrud ye say. I've lost me dictionary. Th' people iv
th' State iv Georgia mus' not be deprived iv their information about
th' scand'lous conduct iv this infamious coort.'
"'Thrue,' says th' prisident. 'Fr-rance 'd soon perish if Georgia shud
thransfer its intherest fr'm Fr-rinch coorts to its own sacred timples
iv justice. Perhaps some confrere 'll lind th' distinguished gazabo a
copy iv his Ollendorff. Manewhile'--
"'Mong prisident,' says a white-faced polisman, 'Judge Crazy the
Boore'--
"'Gr-reat hivins!' cried th' prisident. 'Thin th' quarantine at Oporto
is a farce.


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