To look at him one would say he was
asleep; he does not appear to have suffered at all.'
'Oh, Julia, Julia, do you think he forgave me? I could not do what he asked
me.... I loved him very dearly as a father, but I could not have married
him.'
'No, dear, you could not. Such a marriage would have been most unnatural;
he was more than forty years older than you.'
'I do not think he ever thought of such a thing until about a month or six
weeks ago. You remember how I ran to you? I was as white as a ghost, and I
trembled like a leaf. I could hardly speak.... You remember?'
'Yes, I remember; and some hours after, when I came into this room, he was
standing there, just there, on the hearth-rug; there was a fearful look of
pain and despair on his face--he looked as if he was going mad. I never saw
such a look before, and I never wish to see such a look again. And the
effort he made to appear unconcerned when he saw me was perhaps the worst
part of it. I pretended to see nothing, and walked away towards the window
and looked out. But all the while I could feel that some terrible drama was
passing behind me. At last I had to look round. He was sitting in that
chair, his elbows on his knees, clasping his head with both hands, the old,
gnarled fingers twined in the iron-grey hair.
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