In the
afternoon also news followed them that the ships which had put to sea
on the track of the Spaniard had been driven back by bad weather, having
seen nothing of him.
Now I told all the story of my dealings with the murderer of my mother,
keeping nothing back, and I must bear my father's bitter anger because
knowing that my mother was in dread of a Spaniard, I had suffered my
reason to be led astray by my desire to win speech with my love. Nor did
I meet with any comfort from my brother Geoffrey, who was fierce against
me because he learned that I had not pleaded in vain with the maid whom
he desired for himself. But he said nothing of this reason. Also that no
drop might be lacking in my cup, Squire Bozard, who came with many other
neighbours to view the corpse and offer sympathy with my father in his
loss, told him at the same time that he took it ill that I should woo
his daughter against his wish, and that if I continued in this course it
would strain their ancient friendship. Thus I was hit on every side; by
sorrow for my mother whom I had loved tenderly, by longing for my dear
whom I might not see, by self-reproach because I had let the Spaniard
go when I held him fast, and by the anger of my father and my brother.
Indeed those days were so dark and bitter, for I was at the age when
shame and sorrow sting their sharpest, that I wished that I were dead
beside my mother.
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