Smith became disturbed; he always thought that
something had been said or done to annoy me, which never once
happened, for I met with perfect good breeding even from
antagonists--men who had done their best or worst to write me down.
I explained to him, over and over again, that my occasional silence
was only failure of the power to talk, never of the will, but still
he always seemed to fear there was another cause underneath.
'Mrs. Smith is rather stern, but she has sense and discrimination;
she watched me very narrowly. When surrounded by gentlemen she never
took her eye from me. I liked the surveillance, both when it kept
guard over me amongst many, or only with her cherished one. She
soon, I am convinced, saw in what light I received all, Thackeray
included. Her "George" is a very fine specimen of a young English
man of business; so I regard him, and I am proud to be one of his
props.
'Thackeray is a Titan of mind. His presence and powers impress me
deeply in an intellectual sense; I do not see him or know him as a
man. All the others are subordinate to these. I have esteem for
some, and, I trust, courtesy for all. I do not, of course, know what
they thought of me, but I believe most of them expected me to come
out in a more marked eccentric, striking light.
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