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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"The Hohenzollerns in America"

"
"But, dear me, Abdul," I exclaimed, "surely this situation
is desperate? What can your nation subsist on in such a
situation?"
"Pooh, pooh," said the Sultan. "The interest on our debt
alone is two billion a year. Everybody in Turkey, great
or small, holds bonds to some extent. At the worst they
can all live fairly well on the interest. This is finance,
is it not, Toomuch Koffi?"
"The very best and latest," said the aged man with a
profound salaam.
"But what steps are you taking," I asked, "to remedy your
labour troubles?"
"We are appointing commissions," said Abdul. "We appoint
one for each new labour problem. How many yesterday,
Toomuch?"
"Forty-three," answered the secretary.
"That's below our average, is it not?" said Abdul a little
anxiously. "Try to keep it up to fifty if you can."
"And these commissions, what do they do?"
"They make Reports," said Abdul, beginning to yawn as if
the continued brain exercise of conversation were fatiguing
his intellect, "excellent reports. We have had some that
are said to be perfect models of the very best Turkish."
"And what do they recommend?"
"I don't know," said the Sultan. "We don't read them for
that.


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