But it makes no difference. They
forget them again anyway. Now let us move up higher, in
fact, very high. Let us approach the real thing.
Introduction to H.E. the Viceroy of India, K.C.B.,
K.C.S.I., S.O.S.
The most exalted form of introduction is seen in the
presentation of Mr. Tomkins, American tourist, to H.E.
the Viceroy of India. An aide-de-camp in uniform at the
foot of a grand staircase shouts, "Mr. Tomkins!" An
aide-de-camp at the top (one minute later) calls "Mr.
Thompson"; another aide, four feet further on, calls "Mr.
Torps."
Then a military secretary, standing close to His Excellency,
takes Mr. Tomkins by the neck and bends him down toward
the floor and says very clearly and distinctly, "Mr.
Torpentine." Then he throws him out by the neck into the
crowd beyond and calls for another. The thing is done.
Mr. Tomkins wipes the perspiration from his hair with
his handkerchief and goes back at full speed to the Hoogli
Hotel, Calcutta, eager for stationery to write at once
to Ohio and say that he knows the Viceroy.
The Office Introduction, One-sided
This introduction comes into our office, slipping past
whoever keeps the door with a packet of books under its
arm.
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