It says--
"Ledd me introduze myself. The book proposition vidge I
am introduzing is one vidge ve are now pudding on the
market..."
Then, of two things, one--
Either a crash of glass is heard as the speaker is hurled
through the skylight, or he walks out twenty minutes
later, bowing profusely as he goes, and leaving us gazing
in remorse at a signed document entitling us to receive
the "Masterpieces of American Poetry" in sixty volumes.
On the Stage
Everything on the stage is done far better than in real
life. This is true of introductions. There is a warmth,
a soul, in the stage introduction not known in the chilly
atmosphere of everyday society. Let me quote as an example
of a stage introduction the formula used, in the best
melodramatic art, in the kitchen-living-room (stove right
centre) of the New England farm.
"Neighbour Jephson's son, this is my little gal, as good
and sweet a little gal, as mindful of her old father, as
you'll find in all New England. Neighbour Jephson's son,
she's been my all in all to me, this little gal, since
I laid her mother in the ground five Christmases ago--"
The speaker is slightly overcome and leans against a
cardboard clock for strength: he recovers and goes
on--"Hope, this is Neighbour Jephson's son, new back from
over the seas, as fine a lad, gal, if he's like the folk
that went before him, as ever followed the sea.
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