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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"The Hohenzollerns in America"

Hope,
your hand. My boy, your hand. See to his comfort, Hope,
while I go and read the Good Book a spell in the barnyard."

The Indian Formula
Many people, tired of the empty phrases of society, look
back wistfully to the simple direct speech of savage
life. Such persons will find useful the usual form of
introduction (the shorter form) prevalent among our North
American Indians (at least as gathered from the best
literary model):
"Friends and comrades who are worthy,
See and look with all your eyesight,
Listen with your sense of hearing,
Gather with your apprehension--
Bow your heads, O trees, and hearken.
Hush thy rustling, corn, and listen;
Turn thine ear and give attention;
Ripples of the running water,
Pause a moment in your channels--
Here I bring you,--Hiawatha."
The last line of this can be changed to suit the particular
case. It can just as easily read, at the end, "Here is
Henry Edward Eastwood," or, "Here is Hal McGiverin,
Junior," or anything else. All names fit the sense. That,
in fact, was the wonderful art of Longfellow--the sense
being independent of the words.

The Platform Introduction
Here is a form of introduction cruelly familiar to those
who know it.


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