The beginning of conversation is really the hardest part.
It is the social equivalent to "going over the top." It
may best be studied in the setting and surroundings of
the Evening Reception, where people stand upright and
agonise, balancing a dish of ice-cream. Here conversation
reaches its highest pitch of social importance. One must
talk or die. Something may be done to stave it off a
little by vigorous eating. But the food at such affairs
is limited. There comes a point when it is absolutely
necessary to say something.
The beginning, as I say, is the hardest problem. Other
communities solve it better than we do.
The Chinese System
In China conversation, between strangers after introduction,
is always opened by the question, "And how old are YOU?"
This strikes me as singularly apt and sensible. Here is
the one thing that is common ground between any two
people, high or low, rich or poor--how far are you on
your pilgrimage in life?
The Penetentiary Method
Compare with the Chinese method the grim, but very
significant formula that is employed (I believe it is a
literal fact) in the exercise yards of the American
penitentiaries. "What have YOU brought?" asks the San
Quentin or Sing Sing convict of the new arrival, meaning,
"And how long is your sentence?" There is the same human
touch about this, the same common ground of interest, as
in the Chinese formula.
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