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Lang, Andrew, 1844-1912

"Old Friends, Epistolary Parody"

Consider, if this
practice delights thee, that the apples of Sodom are outwardly fair
but inwardly full of ashes; the box-tree is always green, but his
seed is poison. Mithridate must be taken inwardly, not spread on
plasters. Of his nature smoke goeth upward and outward; why wilt
thou make it go inward and downward? The manners of the Cannibal
fit not the Englishman; and this thy poison is unlike Love, which
maimeth every part before it kill the Liver, whereas tobacco doth
vex the Liver before it harmeth any other part. Excuse this my
boldness, and forswear thy weed, an thou lovest
EUPHUES.

From Sir Amyas Leigh to Euphues.

Whereas thou bringest in a rabble of reasons to convince me, I will
answer thee in thine own kind. Thou art like those that proffer a
man physic before he be sick, and, because his pleasure is not
theirs, call him foolish that is but early advised. Nature maketh
nothing without an end: the eye to see with, the ear to hear, the
herb tobacco to be smoked. As wine strengtheneth and meat maketh
full, tobacco maketh the heart at rest. Helen gave Nepenthe to
them that sorrowed, and Heaven hath made this weed for such as lack
comfort. Tobacco is the hungry man's food, the wakeful man's
sleep, the weary man's rest, the old man's defence against
melancholy, the busy man's repose, the talkative man's muzzle, the
lonely man's companion.


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