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Lang, Andrew, 1844-1912

"Old Friends, Epistolary Parody"

What I like is doing business
with a man like you. We may not be so smart nor so clever at
disguises as the French profession, but we flatter ourselves we are
punctual and cautious.--Faithfully yours,
C. BUCKET.

From Mr. Pickwick to Mr. Perker, Solicitor, Gray's Inn.
Sainte Pelagie, May 28.

Dear Perker,--For heaven's sake come over here at once, bringing
some one who can speak French, and bail me out, or whatever the
process of their law may be. I have been arrested, illegally and
without warrant, at the house of a scientific friend, Count Fosco,
where I had been supping. As far as I can understand, I am accused
of a plot against the life of the Emperor of the French; but the
whole proceedings have been unintelligible and arbitrary to a
degree. I cannot think that an English citizen will be allowed to
perish by the guillotine--innocent and practically unheard! Please
bring linen and brushes, &c., but not Sam, who would be certain to
embroil himself with the French police. I am writing to the Times
and Lord Palmerston.--Sincerely yours,
SAMUEL PICKWICK.

From Monsieur Lecoq to Inspector Bucket.
May 27.

Sir,--There has arrived a frightful misunderstanding. The man you
have sent us is not Fosco. Of Fosco he has only the baldness, the
air benevolent, and the girth. The brand on his right arm is no
more than the mark of vaccination.


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