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Abbott, John S. C. (John Stevens Cabot), 1805-1877

"The Child at Home The Principles of Filial Duty, Familiarly Illustrated"

"

But you cannot receive affection, unless you will also give. You
cannot find others to love you, unless you will also love them. Love
is only to be obtained by giving love in return. Hence the importance
of cultivating a cheerful and obliging disposition. You cannot be
happy without it. I have sometimes heard a girl say,
"I know that I am very unpopular at school."
Now, this is simply saying that she is very disobliging and
unamiable in her disposition. If your companions do not love you, it
is your own fault. They cannot help loving you if you will be kind
and friendly. If you are not loved, it is good evidence that you do
not deserve to be loved. It is true that a sense of duty may at times
render it necessary for you to do that which is displeasing to your
companions. But if it is seen that you have a noble spirit; that you
are above selfishness; that you are willing to make sacrifices of
your own personal convenience to promote the happiness of your
associates, you will never be in want of friends. You must not regard
it as your misfortune that others do not love you, but your fault. It
is not beauty, it is not wealth, that will give you friends. Your
heart must glow with kindness if you would attract to yourself the
esteem and affection of those by whom you are surrounded.
You are little aware how much the happiness of your whole life depends
upon your cultivating an affectionate and obliging disposition.


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